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Sunday, 16 November 2008

  • what the hell?

    Xanga has really changed since I've last been here....I don't like my layout, or any of this new stuff....it confuses me. Anyways...I was just remembering the past that I've had on Xanga. I miss it. I'm all the way in college now, and I remember back in middle school/beginning of high school when I would come onto Xanga and do my Harry Potter Roleplays. Roy Aldien was my first ever character. Man I wish I never shut down any of those sites, because I'd love to go back to them and just read everything that I've done in it. Ryo Kobayashi was my second rpg character, and Alenka started up his cousin Kyo Kobayashi. That's where Ryoman and the Kulk came from, and Sparkles, the name of my imaginary penis came from Roy. *sighs*...damn....where has this gone to?

    I was just looking at some other, new harry potter roleplays....and I can still sense that the same drama, the same bad things are happening in them, as they were back when I was roleplaying. Rules are out for no more bi/gay men, because everybody wanted their man to be gay; Myspace pictures are starting to get overused, like they have always been....

    I was thinking in my head "hey, maybe I could join and start up one of these new roleplays, bring back one of my old characters?" and I realized....I have no time now. College has consumed me, as well as my boyfriend and Nordstrom. I'm never at home, and if i am, it's time for homework and relaxation. Besides....roleplaying was fun when Alenka did it with me as well, and her and I could be the two goof ball boys in Hogwarts. Alenka is just as busy as I am, and why would she want to come back to Xanga? She has no reason to....

    ah well

Saturday, 03 May 2008

  • ponderings....ranting

    I'm sick of it

    I'm sick of friends not caring. I'm sick of feeling like I've been forgotten about, left behind in the dust. I'm sick of....not being heard or having people find the deeper meaning behind my words.

    whatever happened to the times where I'd be lazy and say I don't want to hang out, only to have people come kidnap me and force me to do things? Their gone, that's what. You know why? Because people just think that I'm too depressed and in my own world to do shit. They stay away from me, I suppose in a way they outcast me, scared that if they get in my space I'll chew them out.

    Did I ever do that before? Do I scare them now?......it's times like this where I feel like I could jump off a bridge and no one would turn to look, or if they did, maybe they'd finally say "maybe we should have picked her up instead because then she wouldn't be alone at home, crying her eyes out thinking of suicide?'

    isn't that what friends are for? Making others not lonely anymore? heh....then I suppose i just don't have any friends anymore do I?

    I don't even know why I try and complain anymore. Whenever I try, nobody responds, or when I try, their always caught up at the moment to calm down and listen. I don't even have anything to complain about, but....just having someone look at me, invite me in on conversations or...take my hands and get me up from my seat....that's enough to just make me smile. but does anybody care? I swear they hate me....I'm like that person that nobody likes, they just invite me to things now because they were inviting everybody and I happened to catch their mind.

    I also hate them lying to me. Why tell me that they'll listen when they don't? why....try and include me in on things when they don't even care if I'm there or not anymore? Even when I do go I'm just....there. I can feel the tense air around it....around my "friends"....

    I don't even know what I did to them....did I annoy them too much?.....I....I just don't get it.....do I worry too much?

    Maybe they'll finally miss me when their off in college.....

Monday, 04 February 2008

Friday, 01 February 2008

Wednesday, 24 October 2007

  • boorrrrrrrreeeeeeeedddddddddd

    I'm sick of the depressing posts I've been writing. I could write another one...in fact I was planning on it, but I'll save it for another time.

    for now....what I really want to do....I really want to dress up and go to the mall.....that's what I want to do. Go to Barnes and nobles and read some good ol' manga, play some video games (I still have twilight princess to beat) and...eat my chinese food that's sitting in the fridge. :) yup....


    also...I wanna get back into roleplaying. I miss all the fun I had while doing it.

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cartoonsarefunny

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    • Name: Jill
    • Country: United States
    • State: Iowa
    • Metro: Cedar Rapids
    • Birthday: 3/3/1990
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 4/19/2004

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